My son Has the syndrome Downlines
This article focuses on the moments of raising a child with down syndrome. Just want to note that I write only my own experience. Don’t know how many different opinions there are on this. A unified system of education no — that’s why so many discrepancies. Blame the system and to agree with another may not, so just present the facts.
Let me begin with the first days. I learned about the diagnosis of her son back to the family table (the phenotype) when I didn’t want to give it up. On — worse. None of my relatives wanted me to come. Nobody. In my family there is a worship study, and «perfect man», so that the defective child absolutely did not fit. Remember those days not very desirable. Whatever you say — I put a huge bolt on all the exhortations of those who was supposed to support me. It was hard, sad and painful. Saved me the realization that I love my child and would never be able to live with the fact that she dumped him. Today we all made it up, because the family — the most important thing in life.
The first thing I want to highlight: the biggest mistake that can be avoided by parents of children with disabilities — lock it up at home. About other diagnoses not speak, but I assure you — now opportunities for social adaptation so wide that almost all children can occupy their niche in society. Children with disabilities — it is a whole world of which usually people know almost nothing.
So we are constantly walking: children’s Playground, parks, yard — no difference. In almost any weather, and from the earliest days. He always saw the other children, and I was constantly near him, repeating without end «need not». Gradually, I was surprised to find that there is nothing what could not learn my son, he just it took a little more time. To the increased attention only had to get used to me, he grew up with it.
The first three years were very difficult. It was necessary to instill in him the so-called self-help skills. It is worth to mention that at some point I just stopped listening to all «experts in the education» (neighbors, moms type «ungerboeck» «well-wishers»). With tips Les all and Sundry. And I really listened to the experts. In two years I took my son to a rehabilitation center «Sail of hope» and it was there that I learned how to raise my son.
The most important postulates, which I have always adhered to: consistency, patience, faith in the strength of the child. Without the latter not at all. How to teach your child to believe in yourself, if you don’t believe in him? Believe, believe, believe I will.
At the end of three years he learned: to eat and to sleep, to go to the toilet, to think of the game, not to cry and not freaking out over nothing (he’s a boy, not a girl) to play with other children (friends great). And knew the alphabet. For the month learned. For four years he learned to dress and wash to clear the table and help with the cleaning (at least he thinks so). All this was achieved by labour, daily. Each of the skills should be inoculated, it needs to become a habit. Feature of children with down syndrome — to forget that they can do some things.
The question arose of the kindergarten as an integral item in social adaptation. Began to walk son to a regular kindergarten (down syndrome, by law, is not a contraindication), not without problems, of course. He stayed there for half a year and then I switched him to kindergarten compensatory type (why — a story for another article). Left with tears, that has been exacerbated by the move. Sometimes even that he took his backpack, shoes, and said — went home. Then I used to. Another feature: these children quickly and firmly attached to people.
First, what have I taught the son to the garden — right to fight. All supporters opinions about aggression, I ask you to hold your breath — he did not know how to defend. His bullied children, and he wept. Because I taught him to push the offender in the chest (the aggressor sits on the floor and thinks about life). But along with this he once and for all, remember two rules: «not to hit first», «never to hit girls». Because the second a couple of months ago was an embarrassment — met on jeznenom way completely inadequate girl, and the son against the rules and did not retreat. Again feature: children with down syndrome are not able at first to be greedy and you’re just being mean, but simply to learn that of normal children: «usercash».
A significant role in his life plays a cousin of the same age. Don’t even know who he loves more: me or her. Of course, he repeats after her. she’s terribly flattering, but still he hands her a pen when she gets off the bus. We live together, but because together they are: letters, numbers, speech therapy, speech pathology, etc feature: there is a rule «out of sight — out of mind», «HireDate» at the site of his son driving him to rule out a bad example.
Brake in his education are my nightmares: stubbornness and laziness. In the last couple of months and added another psycho (repeats the behavior of one of their friends). Still have terrible trouble with speech. Gothic sky comes complete with down syndrome, which leads to impaired articulation. That is, it is difficult to understand, despite the fact that he himself understands. Work in this direction is the hardest and most important.
Well, for a snack a few words about the sanctions. As already mentioned — you need to be consistent. But because he knows clearly: «nothing in life ever remains unpunished» — this time. «of poor children grow up to be bad adults» — that’s two. Punishment: deprivation of sweets, cartoons, cognition Zen in the corner and still looms somewhere have any hope, unspeakable horror in the form of a belt (Neopalimovsky, but promised). It is sometimes very fun: messes and he immediately goes into a corner.
Answering one of the questions he knows he is different from others. He knows that many people believe that it is bad. But not going to get upset, because to be different — not bad to be different otherwise.
There are two types of down syndrome: full trisomy (all cells contain the same set of chromosomes) and mosaicism (not all cells contain the extra chromosome). The differences between forms exist on the level and genotype (actually, sets of chromosomes) and phenotype (outward signs).
A naive question from a layman: what is the worse form? Yes no it would be better, honestly I will answer. And yet, in mosaic form of deviation is very chaotic — don’t know what more will be affected. And echoing the words of the experts (reputable of course) — trisomy conditionally lighter form. Sensible answer to this question, in General, in the references I have found, and so I refer the question to the masses — if somebody knows, please write in the comments.
And phenotype — the outward signs I mean — well reflected in the picture below. However, all vecima conditionally. All children with down syndrome have similar features, but all different. Who does not believe — pogolite.
To question the diagnosis of down syndrome during pregnancy.
One of the tests for which pregnant ladies need to undergo a series of tests called — screening. It is designed to detect a pregnancy with a high risk of having a child with down syndrome. Such tests consist of blood work and ultrasound.
Passed I proposed and nesovetskie tests, for because of my health closely monitored. Sometimes it seemed even that of the material for the tests in my poor body is almost gone. And all I heard after the most serious of specialized test — 30% chance (out of 100%, for a moment).
Then, after a couple of years and I heard a whisper that to diagnose down syndrome during pregnancy almost impossible. Proof of this is surround a lot of mistakes and incidents. To be continued…