Habits are the Foundation of our character and even our beliefs
Sometimes you can afford a little prank, but we need to think about the consequences, as if it’s a prank that turns into a pattern.
Aphorism by an unknown author
A well-known fact that all of our habits, and harmful, and quite harmless, from childhood. Even such harmful habit as Smoking, according to researchers, is laid at a time when adolescents or adults still went under the table.
Where are the habits? How they are formed and fastened? How to instill in your child good habits and prevent the formation of harmful? The answers to these questions gave Irina kholdeeva, family psychologist family club «Peace movement”.
– What is a habit? What are they?
– Habit — it’s some kind of repetitive action, which we are not aware, there is an effect on the unconscious level. Habits are the Foundation of our character and even our beliefs. It’s no secret that habits are different: useful and harmful. There are also hygienic (or household) habits, which include morning washing, washing hands before meals, morning gymnastics, the habit of being neat and tidy, get up early, a habit to keep household items, educational supplies were always in place, in good condition. Allocate and moral habits, manifested in relationships with people – greetings, good wishes, compliments, politeness, constant readiness to help others, discipline.
In addition to useful habits, in unfavorable conditions of education may be negative, bad habits: the brutality, the use of profane language, swearing, the habit to use the words-parasites, laziness, Smoking, nail-biting, habit cranky, stubborn, late and so on.
– Irina, when and how habits are formed, where they get their sources?
– Our habits are laid in childhood, until about three years. Even if the child still does not speak and it seems to adults that the child understands nothing, he actually understands a lot more than adults think, and like a sponge absorbs everything he sees, hears and feels around.
Where are the habits? First, the child observes the world and the behavior of adults, especially the most important in his life — moms and dads. Of course, grandparents, and siblings influence the formation of habits. The child sees, how they behave in certain situations adults, and it’s already leaving a mark on his habits, somewhere in the subconscious laid stereotypes of behavior in certain situations, as an adult, the child would like their projects to real-life situations, repeating the behavior of their parents, without even realizing it.
Every habit has three phases of formation: observation, copying the behavior of adults, pinning habits.
– How to avoid bad habits in children? What you should pay attention to the parents?
– Here is a very important educational moment: when parents see that the child begins something from time to time to repeat, they should pay attention, and if necessary take appropriate action. So, if they see that the child develops a positive habit, you need to reinforce it with praise, but it must be justified. Any praise should be for something, with an explanation of what you praise your child. For example, because he did something with his hands when he helped mom did something right and so on.
Since most people leading channels of senses are sight, hearing, touch, and praise should be extended to all three channels of perception, in this case, the habit is fixed, you can tell instantly. For example, when we praise a child, we smile — a child sees our emotions, the ear perceives tone in which this phrase was uttered, and when we stroke the child’s hand during the praise he receives tactile sensations, in this case, positive reinforcement will be effective triple.
The same principle of action, if we want to explain to a child that you can’t do: demonstrate the emotion of discontent (Harim eyebrows), strict tone in his voice (“you can’t do that!”, “it’s bad!”), you can take her baby and gently squeeze it in the palm of your hand (if, for example, a child hit another child took a toy, something was dropped, etc.) If we notice that some of the child’s behavior is undesirable, it is necessary, in addition to censure him for it, to explain to the kid why certain things should not be done. But not only that, we blamed the children for negative habits and expressed my dissatisfaction, the most important thing at this point parents by example showed how the kid to behave. For example, if they tell the child it is wrong to swear, and speak in a raised voice, use harsh words, curse words, create a situation of misunderstanding. In this case a teaching moment fizzles, and parents reinforce the child this unwanted habit.
– If the child has already formed a bad habit, what will You advise in this case parents?
– In this case, each child needs an individual approach. But there are a few effective ways of getting rid of those or other bad habits. For example, if the child might get out of the habit of sucking a pacifier, you should offer him as an alternative to something else, for example, some fruits or vegetables. Another negative childish habit — when the child puts his fingers in his mouth. Get rid of it will help MITT made of natural wool: when your baby again pull his mouth with a hand, he will experience discomfort, and soon get rid of their bad habit.
If a child is naughty in a public place, to scold him and appeal to behave well, probably useless. The best way to distract from it — to switch his attention to something else, to inspire something interesting. You can beat any actions associated with positive or negative habits with toys. For example, play as a Bunny (or any other favorite toy) washes, washes his hands, sits on the potty, plays, cleans up toys, fold clothes neatly, etc. if the child is hurting other children, fights, you can play as a baby elephant (or any other character) hurt other zveryatok with him and they didn’t want to be friends, not inviting him to visit, etc. When the action moved on toys, children usually understand and tolerate the situation for themselves and others.
– A few words about Your club. What is the role of educators in shaping children’s habits?
– Our club is focused on early childhood education. We have a kindergarten, which is attended by children from six weeks to three years. This is the most active and important period of the formation of both positive and negative habits. And the task of teachers is to pay attention to how your children are doing. If they notice negative behaviors, I try to explain what and why the guys are doing wrong and to bring this information not only to children but also to parents, not to nullify a teaching moment. Actually much easier to nip the habit in their formative stages, rather than in the future to get rid of it that much more difficult.