Children's fears and doubts
  Our children are growing, and with each passing year their fears change. Something remains in the past, something settles deep inside, so that later, in adult life to remind…

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4 - B - class - tips for parents
Memo No. 1 for parents "Preventing childhood aggression" 1. Try to keep in the family atmosphere of openness and trust. 2. Do not let your child unfulfilled promises, not inspire…

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Children are a reflection of their parents


The main issues of family relations: the position of spouses in the family and their personal qualities, children and relationships within the family.

First, consider examples of the relationship without considering the influence of external factors: parents of husband and wife, relatives, friends, colleagues, etc.

Each member of the family has their own desires and needs, which they hope to satisfy, and if it fails, it is often in a family there will be friction and quarrels. For example, my wife, in addition to material wealth and a reliable life partner, you need the attention of her husband, and she expects it, but not talking about it. The husband, in turn, because of employment can casually refers to his wife, thinking that his focus is to provide families with everything they need. He therefore seeks to provide for the family, material things, and because of this within the family do not develop spiritual relationships, and material. It so happens that both spouses are interested in material things, and so they get bogged down in worldly Affairs and concerns. This is one of the typical portraits of the modern family. What is the situation of children in such families?

Each child also has their own needs and desires, which change depending on age and environment. Meeting the needs and wishes of the child, it is important to do so as not to spoil your him, but not to oppress.

Some children screaming and tantrums are seeking from parents what they want, and parents fulfilling their order, rejoicing that the child allegedly “had already formed my character.” But at this stage it is necessary to pacify these children, otherwise this character will remain with them for life and they will grow up to be ungrateful selfish people who will take what they want even force. Remember, if the child is still a child learned to yell and raise his hand, with age, he will do the same, if not worse. So train up your children in accordance with Shari atom, trying to instill in the child a sense of contentment that given Alla h ω and gratitude for what is. Even if a child grows up in a wealthy family, is not a reason to satisfy all his desires and to “pay off” from him whenever you have no time or do not want to nurture it.

Contentment is a trait. For example, if the parents teach the child to eat when he is hungry, and not every hour, to give him something that is, not fulfilling orders, and be happy that it’s being fed food Halal (permitted by God), then he will grow up thankful to the Creator and to honor their parents.

Children are good observers, they are sensitive enough to catch the reaction of adults and copying their behavior. All what they are being taught, as do parents with each other and with others – is reflected in the future behavior of children. Therefore, first, it is important to give the child a proper and thorough religious knowledge. This is important not only what you say, but how do. Remember, he remembers, and even if not immediately repeats after you. We are waiting for the right moment to give out what he liked or remembered. The children do not look: good or bad. For example, if the father smokes, the child too will try to follow his example: for a start, maybe just to take a pen to her lips, simulating Smoking. And when parents, discussing some of the familiar, no sympathy in the presence of a child, he remembers. And then, when meeting with this person, when parents begin to smile at him and behave with him very diplomatically, the child will be treated badly by that person and may grant all, what he thinks on the basis of the discussion of parents exposing their true face. And it’s not out of malice, but simply the parents for the child — close friends, and therefore their relationship to other people or things he takes for granted.

Another important issue is the reaction of parents on children’s behaviour. When a child does something for the first time – he’s still looking at the reaction of adults, if no comments or edifying not followed, then believes she can do anything she wants. Sometimes a child misbehaves, but parents do not pay attention to it and he gets away with it. He gets used and no longer need the approval of adults. Parenting is hard work, requiring skills and knowledge. It is important to be attentive to the child, to surround him with love and care, within and also give it a feel of security and protection.

How can you call caring when, for example, a mother, a busy household, or your business, says hungry child: “Go to the kitchen and grab something in the fridge”. But this often happens in many families.

When the child grows up, he’ll deal with others as was done to him by their parents, and will do the same thing it did in my childhood, because it’s good for him is familiar.

Without religious knowledge, the child will not be protected from errors. When the parents from the birth of the child care knowledge and respect, they help it to grow strong and healthy spiritually and physically. And it is not uncommon for children who have received knowledge on Islam, parents can mend. As, for example, when some parents explain to their children what is good and what is bad, and they commit sins, children respond quickly and say. “You said yourself that it’s bad!”.

And sometimes, when parents say one thing and do another, the children will copy this and begin to hide their bad deeds, only showing parents what they like to see. Because they taught them to behave in front of strangers is beautiful and home to change their behavior.

As they say. “If you want to know who the parents look at their children”.